Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? I am afraid that I
didn’t, as I don’t like being forced into things, but it did make me think about
the way we all talk to ourselves and how being kinder when we do that helps us so
much. In fact, we probably wouldn’t need to make
“resolutions” if we were kinder to ourselves, I think. Notice how I used that word would there? I am totally convinced that we should eliminate Modal verbs from our inner dialogues, because they
are some of the ones which cause the most aggro: “I should diet/ I must drink
less/ I would exercise more/I ought to work harder but…” why do they so often get juxtaposed with but,
do you think? Probably because we are still rebelling against the “should/would/could/must” that we heard
from our tiniest moments: “you must
clean your room/you should work
harder/ you could have won that/you would have succeeded if you had done x,
y or z”. We are naturally questioning and thinking people, so we questioned
those statements, and when we hear them again we still question them as the
emotions return subconsciously
Modal verbs generally
express theoretical possibility, likelihood, obligation and permission, all of
which can be great things, but not if they are imposed on us against our wills.
This also means that when we use them, we are not necessarily committing to a
course of action and thus they can be delaying tactics. Not a particularly
useful attribute for a resolution, I feel. Interestingly, these verbs are defined as not “inflective”
but “defective”, and I don’t think we should be using defective* words against ourselves,
or anyone else!
I prefer to hear
people say: “I enjoy eating healthily”,” I choose to exercise and enjoy it” “I
am happy drinking less” (alcohol, not water!) ”I am enjoying taking care of my
skin”. Positive affirmations like these
are easier for the brain - which is a very literal being - to process and cope
with. Modal verbs cause confusion and might mess up your resolutions. Perhaps,
if we stopped using them, to ourselves and others, life would be easier and
more pleasant. Maybe we should?
*For sticklers: actually this just means that they don’t have
an infinitive form, but I thought it was significant anyway.
