According to the press, so it MUST be true, we all overspend at Christmas. 

Credit cards are 'maxed' and bank accounts emptied in the pursuit of ... something or other. Not quite sure what, but presumably it varies according to person.

Irrelevant anyway, because, once it's empty, it takes some filling up. This usually means that many people spend more frugally in January, because they are stony broke. 

'Irrelevances' and 'non-essentials' come into this category, so hairdressers and beauticians both tend to be quieter at this time of year, after the Christmas and New year débâcle and bedlam.

Personally, I don't think a hair-do or facial is irrelevant and would prefer to live on homemade lentil soup for a couple of weeks rather than forgo my skin or hair being looked after, but you may not feel the same, so...

Recipe courtesy of Diabetes UK

Here are the instructions on how to do a DIY Facial yourself

Why am I telling you my trade secrets, you might ask, in a moment of inquisitiveness?

Well, I'm not telling you exactly what I do, because it's impossible to do that on oneself anyway, but in the interest of Good Skin and female solidarity Sister, I'm handing out advice like - not lollipops, because I'm not too keen on those, sugar is so inflammatory darling - but vitamin shots! 

Compressing the face aids healthy lymph movement

Here's what you need

• Hot water in a bowl or sink
• A Muslin 
• Three rounds of Cotton wool
• Moor Lavender Bath oil
• Cleansing Milk
• Cleansing Cream
• Toner or RNC
• Clay
• Cream mask
• about 30 minutes

Here's what you do -

• Fill the receptacle with hot water
• Add some bath oil and swirl to mix
• Use the cotton wool to remove any eye makeup and lipstick
• Wring out your muslin and compress your face 
• Compress again
• (You could do a couple of Facial exercises at this point, if you've learned some)
• Cleanse your face gently with Cleansing Milk
• Remove with the muslin

Now for the second cleanse -

• Add more hot water and bath oil
• Compress again, really taking the time to inhale the fragrance and calm your breathing
• Now cleanse with the Cleansing Cream- press and roll!
• Remove very gently, then use a cool compress to close those pores.

And the 50 shades of Clay. . .

Clay cleanses deeply and gently for clear pores and toned skin

• Mix up the clay mask
• Apply another warm compress - Spruce is gorgeous because it helps you to breathe more deeply
• Now brush on the Clay. A brush is better than fingers as it is more precise and you tend to get less clay under your fingernails
• Leave this on for 5-8 minutes
• It's worth re-dampening the clay with a sponge, if your skin feels too tight
• Remove with a sponge and then a compress

Now for the Treatment Mask

Which mask is best for your skin? Ask your local Esthetician for advice

• Apply some toner or RNC
• Smooth your chosen mask over your damp* skin
• Leave on for 15-320 minutes
• (You can use your roller at this point for optimum absorption)
• Remove with a cool compress
• Apply day care or night care depending on time of day
• Send me a text telling me how wonderful your skin feels!

* Skin needs a drink too, you know! And remember to keep a glass of water to hand - and mouth - while you are doing this.

If you were lucky enough to receive a Gift Voucher for Christmas, you can, of course, book the real thing, and I'll do all that - and more - for you!

   
     Have a radiant day!

      Love, Jane x
     PS If you want or need anything mentioned above, text the pamper line: 07961224560 or reply to this email

Season of mists and mellow fruitlessness

I do hope your preparations are proceeding according to precedent, as it's so well put in the Elephant's Child. Mine probably are, as I started out well, then fell behind, and am now thoroughly confused. Plus I've lost my lists(s) So, all going swimmingly then.

The one thing that keeps me sane in a sea of wrapping paper, lists, roasting chestnuts and banned curling ribbon (because it's plastic innit? and I have lots left from last year and the previous decade, so what to do?) is my skin care routine.

Because it's so ingrained - like cleaning one's teeth - I find it is a little oasis of calm and reason amongst the utter bedlam of dire Christmas pop songs, John Rutter Earworms and lost lists.

The scent of Spruce, or Lemon & Lemongrass in the morning, makes me glad to be awake,

Scents of the pine forest calm & soothe

and able to look for my list; the Lavender compress in the evening means that I forget about the damn thing and sleep the sleep

of the (fairly) innocent.

Though why the innocent sleep any more soundly than the guilty, I've no idea.

So, I do hope you are finding a little solace during this season of bonkersness, and that your list is rather more ticked than mine, but if you have any Hauschka on it, please ensure that you do not dilly-dally on the way, but order PDQ, because, unlike me, Dr Hauschka UK shut up shop on the 14th December.

That is this Friday. Just saying...  

Place your order by texting the Pamper-line ASAP 07961224560

How to get feet like Cinderella, not an Ugly Sister

The mindless march of time means that we are almost in Advent. Which means Christmas is less than four weeks away and there is stuff to do and not enough time in which to do it.  

This means you end up shuffling about in endless queues, and your poor little feet suffer. 

What started out resembling Cinderella's little toes, turn into an Ugly Sister-esque swollen appendages, which need TLC. (Don't we all ducky?) 

So, that's today's 

PAMPER MISSION

Soak those toes!

Always best not to use the washing up bowl, I feel, but easy for me to say, as I have a selection of rather snazzy foot bowls. (Including a copper one which I can barely carry once it is full of H2O, Still it's gorgeous, and il faut souffrir etc.) 

So, find yourself a bowl, or treat yourself to one specifically for feet. Fill it with warm water, spritz in some Sage Bath or Spruce, and soak your feet.

You could read a book, knit, sip wine or watch television, as you will be immobilised somewhat. Let's hope the doorbell doesn't ring! 

Once your feet feel a little more suited to a glass slipper, rather than needing their toes or heels chopped off*, (which is way beyond the scope of the average chiropodist, so best avoided) remove them, dry them and rub in some cream. I like Hydrating Foot Cream best. 

Finish off with some socks and slippers, then put them up. Make a list of some sort, if you feel guilty lounging around, but why not be decadent and do nowt for a while? It's the weekend, after all!

Want to treat your feet like this regularly?

Get yourself a tube of Hydrating Foot Cream and bottle of Sage Bath. They come in Christmas Sets at the moment.  

Text the Pamper-Line 07961224560 to reserve yourself one, or mention it to someone who wants to buy you a present.That way, you'll get the loyalty points, as well as the present! 

And what do (loyalty) points mean? Prizes!

Have a Radiant day!

Green Thursday or Black Friday?

We've all heard about Black Friday - the American imported opportunity for retailers to clear out their old stock at risible prices. 

Stories of fist-fights over bargains and camping out the night before don't really add to the glamour of the occasion. 

Green Thursday -  a UK invention - is an attempt to encourage nice customers to buy their presents from local businesses with a green angle and environmentally-friendly products. 

Each year, Green Thursday falls on the Thursday before Black Friday, which the Americans celebrate as Thanksgiving. 

That's not really a festival here, although we have pinched the turkey idea and now eat ours at Christmas. In the past, Wild Boar, or Goose was often more common (and probably tastier.)

It should be a lot more civilised, with less need to arm-wrestle your fellow shoppers, and your conscience will be smugly aware that you are doing your bit for the environment as well as your purse, because there are still bargains to be had, but they won't cost the earth - financially or literally

At my Green Thursday event this year,  I'm running lip-balm making sessions, so you can take home your own little pot of pleasure. Either keep it for yourself or give it to someone as a charming homemade present.

Text the Pamper-Line to book your session 07961224560

Migrating Makeup - how to stop your makeup from sliding down your face

Picture from uproxx.com

There are many, many things very much worse than finding mascara on your cheeks, but it is still annoying when it happens. Even the undoubtedly lovely Heath Ledger RIP couldn't make it look that appealing.

There are ways to stop this happening, but they take a little attention to detail and a small amount of time.

Firstly - are you applying makeup straight after your day care? 

You really need to give your eye cream some time to absorb before slapping makeup over it. Asking for trouble - and sliding - otherwise. 

The solution is to apply your day cream and eye cream, then go and do something else while it sinks in. Ten minutes is ample. 

Yes, I know nobody has ten minutes spare in the morning, but I'm not suggesting putting your feet up. You can chivvy, skivvy, eat breakfast and get ready, while that's soaking in

Teint powder is a great base for eyeshadow

The next thing is a base coat of some sort. 

Even if you don't wear foundation, it's a good idea to apply that, or powder to the eye area. If you are like me, and wear sunglasses a lot, you'll look like a panda anyway, so applying a little powder, which is slightly darker than the rest of your face, will even up the white eye patches and give your eye-shadow something to cling onto. I often use this - Dr Hauschka's Teint powder - as it gives a slight tint of colour, and you can stop there, and just add mascara if time is a-fleeting. As it tends to...

Once you've got dry eye cream and a base of some sort - get creative!

Or not. Up to you. Some women are perfectly happy with a swipe of colour while others enjoy spending 40 minutes blending, with twelve types of brushes. I don't have that sort of time or inclination, so tend to draw a little eye liner along the lashes, then add a couple of colours. 

Deep Infinity Eye Palette Limited Edition 2018 

Now, to stop that eye liner bleeding

To do that, you can seal it with some powder. Matching is nice, or a slightly different one can look gorgeous. A blue eye liner crayon, with a purple shadow over it can look gorgeous. Or, my current favourite is the Deep Infinity Palette, which I reviewed here 

It's best to use a slanted brush for a neat application. The darker colour has a little glitter to it, so makes a really nice thin line over eye liner. That should keep your eye make up on the straight and narrow, unless you are planning to run a marathon.

Final touch

Once you've applied mascara et al, just gently brush under the eye area with a touch of powder, to maintain a barrier.

Lip-tastic
Lipstick is the other makeup product that tends to travel. As we age, our lips get thinner (unless we really practice Facial Exercises assiduously). Starting off with a Lip Liner helps stop this nasty habit. 

Lip Definer keeps your lipstick in place

For a super clean lip line, use a clear liner just outside the lip-line, then outline them with a colour that matches your lipstick. 

Unless you are going for that dark liner/light lipstick look, which generally only looks good on Drag Artistes - most of us don't have the Chutzpah to pull that one off. 

I use this one - Lip Definer 00. It's clear, so doesn't show but it keeps your make up where is should be on your lips.

Time well spent

Although this sounds fiddly, it really does help keep your makeup in place rather than running about like candle in a heat wave. So it'll save you time during the day, when you don't need to keep checking your immaculate maquillage!

Book a personalised Makeup session with me.
I'll show you how to keep your skin and your makeup looking radiant

Text the Pamper-line on 07961224560

National Frankenstein Day

That was National Frankenstein Day, not National Frankfurter Day, so put those sausages down. I know, I can't believe it either, but there is even a National Popcorn Day. Now we've heard it all. Anyway in my little sweetly-scented corner of the universe, rather than hiding behind the sofa sucking my thumb in disbelief at the craziness of the outside world, I'll be doing my...   PAMPER MISSION How about you? No need to look like a monster, if you look after yourself!  Treat your feet to a foot-bath. Soak those babies in some scented water Sage for pesky female hormones Moor Lavender, if you are planning an early night Rose, just because Lemon & Lemongrass if you are off out dancing (- you dirty stop out - you!) (Sage is also good for monstrous male feet, that are not as sweetly scented as ours.) Give your feet a little rub with a paste of sugar and olive oil, and then dry them gently. You can, if you are inclined, put a mask upon your tootsies. Hydrating Mask is what is extravagantly lavished upon them in the Foot Treatment chez moi.  After applying that, you'll have to put them up for a while to let it soak in. Quelle dommage! After lounging in a lady-like manner for a while, gently remove any residue and re-clothe your feet to keep them warm. Cashmere socks would be the ultimate finishing touch to this foot-tastic session Have a radiant weekend! PS Want a pamper mission every week?  Sign up for tips, tricks and more amusing waffle by clicking HERE

How (NOT) to look older and haggard

With the possible exception of underage teenagers trying to get into a trendy nightclub, nobody really wants to look older than they are, do they? 

We live in a visual culture that values youth above experience, particularly when it comes to women. We don't have that Chinese thing of respecting our Elders, we tend to diss them and their opinions, and then suddenly WE are the older generation! 

Oooh! The shock when the Prime Minister is younger than you are! (Not Theresa May, but it happened to me with David Cameron.)

This bias against ageing is unhelpful because we are lucky to age - it's a privilege not everyone gets to experience, but that doesn't mean that we need to look haggard and colourless. No beige needed - except in highlights!

There are lots of things you can do to retain your youthful looks - drinking enough (water! Not Gin!), eating wisely, but not too well, looking after your skin really well and getting regular facials. Something that is not commonly done, though, is to learn and practice Facial Exercises  

Targeted facial movements tone and smooth your face

In my youth, Eva Fraser was the doyenne of Facial exercise. I had a lesson with her a few years ago, to see how what she does, differs from what I teach. She really is an inspiring example of what you can achieve, if you are diligent. Diligence is the word though.

I'm not as well-behaved as she is and don't do them as often, but I do know that when I don't do them, I do look more haggard, so that inspires me to keep going. 

Interested? Want to read more, click HERE to read my piece in Cotswold Life about Facial exercises. If you'd like a trial lesson, please get in touch. Lessons can be done in person – which is best or by Skype. 

Text the Pamper-line on 07961224560

Flaky Skin: How to stop shedding on the people you care about!

After the splendid summer we’ve just had, your skin might be feeling, well, - if not pallid, just a little the worse for wear. Because all those fun things we enjoy in the summer - sea, sand, sunshine, cocktails – although great fun at the time, all have a drying effect on the skin.

That might be brilliant news if your face is as oily as the East Texas oil field, but not so great for those of us with - ahem! - older and slightly drier faces. So, what can you do to stop yourself shedding skin cells like a Golden Retriever sheds hair? 

Three things to think about...

1. Hydrating from the inside is a great place to start

We all need water

Most people don’t drink enough water to keep their skin in peak condition, because the internal organs also need water, and if there is a lack they’ll get first dibs. Which is as it should be, of course, but why starve your skin of water? 

So, please! Drink more water
Setting a timer can help you remember to do this. There's not much point putting expensive cream onto skin that feels like a desert. You need water inside and out. 

2. Look at your skin care routine as well, because this is crucial Your skin will love you and look so much better if you look after it properly. What you do on a daily basis will directly affect how your skin looks now, as well as how it ages in the future. Cleansing, toning and moisturising is as important as cleaning and flossing your teeth.

Start a skin regime now, if you haven't already

3. Your skin also loves a regular pampering session. 

Schedule the time for a home Skin Spa, using a Clay Mask to remove all those flaky dead skin cells gently, and follow with a hydrating cream mask to re-hydrate (who would have guessed!) and soothe your skin.

Booking yourself a professional facial is an even better idea
Not only will your skin look fabulous, after a professional pampering session, but you’ll get advice on just how to keep it like that. And, as well  as your skin looking great - and totally un-flaky - you'll feel fab too!

There's nothing like a facial to make you look and feel like a new woman!

Book a pamper session with me.
I'll show you to gain and maintain great skin. No more flaking!

Text the Pamper-line on 07961224560

50 Shades of Clay

   In the spirit of 'do as I do, rather than just 'do as I say', this is being typed with face-full of Clay. That sentence could do with revision...The face of clay is not typing - I am - but I am wearing a lot of clay upon my face.

     Bit of a giveaway, that. This weekend's pamper mission is a deep cleanse, and I've started early!

     You should know how to do this by now, but here's a recap:
 

• Remove any makeup or city grime with Cleansing Milk
• Compress with something scented 
• Cleanse well (albeit gently) with Cleansing Cream
• Apply a good layer of Clay mask and then lie down for a bit. Or amble around shouting at people. Whatever is more relaxing for you.

     When the clay starts to feel tight, dampen it, then remove gently with a sponge. You can use your muslin but it will look grim.

• Mist lightly with Toner, RNC or - even better - Intensive Conditioner
• Apply a cream mask to your damp rosy skin. Whichever one suits your current skin condition. Ask me if you're not sure, although Revitalising Mask is a good all-rounder.
• Leave that for 20 minutes, then remove with a tepid muslin.

     Admire your peachy skin and resolve to do this more often. Once a week is ideal. 

     Please remember that your face doesn't end at your chin. Well, only anatomically. The skin on your neck also needs a treat, as does your décolleté. Think of all the sunshine that bounces onto it -the perfect little suntrap. Cleanse it when you cleanse your face, and mask it ditto.

     That's all, my lovely, I've got to go and remove this mask before I crack!

      Have a radiant weekend!

Do text the Pamper-line if you need any of the above: 07961224560

Deep Infinity - Dr Hauschka's latest Limited Edition Makeup

Twice a year, Dr Hauschka produce some little treasures for green-minded makeup lovers. This one is called Deep Infinity and draws inspirations from the colours and tones of the oceans and the sky. 

Picture the endlessly rolling waves of the Aegean sea, its fathomless, infinite, azure depths topped with evanescent, cerulean foam. Above it, a setting sun tints the sky rose, and you'll have some idea of this colour scheme.


This latest collection marks a dramatic departure from the usual offerings in several ways. The gorgeous model, for a start, has non-Caucasian skin. 

It's well overdue for cosmetics firms to use ALL skin shades, so this is a great start. Beauty is skin-deep, whatever colour your skin is. In fact, the shades look even better on a darker skin tone. Perfect for summer.


And the products?

Turquoise mascara, anyone? Has that even been

Doesn't it look great against
my copper foot-bath?

done before? We already have Blue Defining Mascara, and Plum Volume mascara, both of which are stunning in their own way, but turquoise! So exciting. 

I think it works best as a flash of colour at the very tips of the lashes. I tried it with Brown Volume mascara and just caught the ends of the lashes with the turquoise and it looked really pretty. 

Seems to work for all colour eyes too, as it's nice with blue eyes, and also flatters brown ones. Green eyes just look great with anything, of course. 

Of course, it looks really gorgeous with the eye shadow palette; well, it would, wouldn't it? It was designed to do so, and look how pretty those shades are! 

Love that slanted applicator!

Rose, slate grey, turquoise and midnight blue. There's even a subtle, shimmery glitter to three of them, like sunlight glistening on the waves.
The deep midnight blue looks particularly nice when used over the Blue Eye Definer around the lash line, when the lashes are tipped with the turquoise mascara for maximum contrast. 

With all that emphasis on the eyes, a subtler lip is called for. The Rosewood shade of the new Lip Crayon is just the ticket. 

Yes - a crayon! It's ideal for busy women who haven't got time for lip liner: you just use the tip to outline, then fill in with the broader side. This gives a subtle, matte, natural look - like one's own lips, but fuller and naturally enhanced. If you prefer a less subtle look, just add some lip gloss - I used the Lip Gloss 05 in Carnelian, which tones really well with the Rosewood. 

Dr H Illuminating fluid
for shimmering highlights

On days when you have a little more time, perhaps

you might like to try the new Illuminating Fluid? This versatile product can be used alone as a highlighter on cheek bones and under the eyebrows, or mixed with foundation for a translucent shimmering finish.  

Have I whetted your appetite? 

Are you brave enough for a turquoise mascara? 

Text the Pamper-line 07961224560 for more info or to order.

 

Summer skin woes

     The unbelievable has finally happened: it is June and hot. And sunny! We've been promised a week of this...!

     So it seems it's a good time to think about how best to support your skin through this slightly surreal experience. Usually, when we get warmth like this, we have to speak a foreign language, or try to...

     Some things to consider in hot weather are:

• dehydration
• sunburn
• dryness
• soreness
• allergies 

     That's enough to be going on with, I think. Let's start with dehydration.

     You've got to drink enough water, obviously. But don't knock it back like a drunken student on his first Yard of Ale. If you swig, your body can't absorb efficiently, all that precious fluid will pass straight through and your kidneys will be overworked.

     Sip like a lady with a martini. You could even stick out your little finger, if you feel it helps...

     That'll  help with the internal requirements, but the hotter air, sunshine, reflected or direct and the breeze will also take their toll, and this is where one of my desert Island Essentials comes in

     Facial Toner.

     This is the bee's knees. (If they have them.)

     When it's hot like this, I keep a bottle in the fridge and lightly mist it on my face, when I feel like it. This is great for all skin types. People with rosacea might find it gets worse or better in the summer, but this helps to keep the skin cool. 

     For us lucky souls without rosacea, it's just lovely to cool your face down knowing that you are also pampering it with soothing herbal extracts like anthyllis vulneria at the same time. 

     You can of course use a bottle of plain water, instead:here are plenty of brands selling facial mists. But, I slightly resent the idea of paying to mist my face with micro-droplets of H2O which is packaged in a pressurised container with an aerosol and is almost impossible to recycle!

     You can also get a tiny 10 ml one of these for your hand bag, which is a nice little treat for your face.

     If you want one on these to treat your face to a cooling spray as needed, get in touch. Just text the pamper line on 07961224560

Facial Toner usually costs £25.50 or £23 after discount, and I have five little minis (RRP £4) to give away free with the first five ordered. If you want one, text the Pamper-line on 07961224560 or reply to this email. 

GDP Aaarrgh!

     Four little* letters are driving the entire internet bonkers, and leading to many people tearing their hair out and racing round like the fly with proverbial azure posterior.

     But, this all ceases on Friday 25th May, thank Goodness! Back to normal, but with an empty inbox - YAY!

     It reminds me of the Millennium bug. The entire world - AKA the internet -

Image from Know Your Meme

was about to grind to a halt and we were going to find ourselves in the dark Ages with no central heating or running water. Or the online equivalent.

     Didn't happen though, did it? We all woke up with sore heads - those of us old enough to toast the new millennium, anyway - and things went on as normal.

     Quite possibly the whole GDPR fiasco will make no difference whatsoever.

     Anyway, in case you are concerned about what I do with any of your data, here is my privacy policy. (Interestingly, spellcheck suggested piracy policy. I prefer that.)

   

My Piracy Policy and why your data is safe in my hot little hands:

• I wait till the Witching Hour on a full moon
• Then I go out with a candle-lit lantern
• I dig a deep hole in an unmarked spot
• There I deposit all personal details and top up with nice organic soil

     This means, of course, that even if I wanted to, which I don't, I could not sell your details on to a second or third party. (Mainly because I can't find them myself.) 
     
     So, I do hope that's clearer now?

     Any questions, please ask. Email jane@theorganicbeautician.com or text 07961224560, and if I''m not digging for information, I'll answer ASAP.
 
      Have a radiant day!

   www.theorganicbeautican.com

*Okay, so they are Majuscules, not 'little' letters, but that lacked alliteration. 

Mayday! M'aidez!

Maypole Crown. Beltaine 2011. Photo by Sable Aradia

   Looking out of the window, it is clear why May is called May. 

   It's nothing to do with poles, ribbons and flowers really, it's more that...

     You may need an umbrella.
     You may need wellies.
     You may need to cancel your barbecue
     You may wear a summer dress, but you will freeze. (That's me, and I am freezing.)

     Take your pick. All a bit depressing really. Let's hope it clears up for the Royal Wedding!

    This is probably why Mayday is the signal of distress. It's actually nothing to do with the Anglicisation of the French "M'aidez!", but more of a fact that May will be a bit soggy and your boat may sink.

     That's enough of that. I'm going to find some woolly tights, as I'm freezing. The frock may have been a mistake.      

     Have a radiant day! (It might clear up!)


     You may find yourself in need of some Dr Hauschka goodies to cheer you up. 

     Text the Mayday helpline: 07961224560. 

Happy Birthday, Mr Shakespeare!

    Today, being St George's Day, is also generally celebrated as the birth-date (in 1564) of the world's greatest playwright and general Good Egg, one Wm. Shakespeare (or Shakspear - he never seems particularly wedded to one spelling, but ranged about a bit. And, why not? You can't tie genius down with spelling. Teachers might disagree...)  

Modern recreation by Vanny Sok

     As I've just been to a Dr Hauschka Makeup training day, it seemed apposite to link the two if possible, hence this wee look at what sort of makeup was worn during the time of the Bard of Avon, both on- and off-stage.

     Back in the day, there was no such thing as 'safe' cosmetics and H&S legislation. Most people put really dodgy stuff on their faces to gain the requisite shade of white. Including Her Maj - Elizabeth I, who probably started the trend.

     The ideal beauty was a very fair woman, with blonde or red hair (like Liz), an exceptionally pale complexion and red lips. As well as being tall and slim, Queen Elizabeth had pale skin and light red-gold hair. She made the most of this, and all the noblewomen tried to emulate her style and looks. (The poor probably didn't bother, being more concerned with scratching a living and not getting arrested for poaching.)

    Probably the point of showing of an alabaster complexion was that it signified wealth - you couldn't be pale and interesting if you'd been labouring in the field 24/7, could you?

      This degree of pallidity wasn't always that easy to achieve, and like modern women, some help was required. Unlike us, though, they used seriously dodgy ingredients. Now, I am often heard making 'eugh' noises, when I peruse the ingredients lists on tubes of (non-Hauschka) cosmetics, but the stuff they painted themselves with was seriously gross. 

     " 'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
     Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on"

     So said Will. Except it wasn't: it was mostly fake. Let's start with ceruse: a tasty mix of white lead and vinegar, which gave you a white complexion, initially at least. However, it also gave you blemishes, which you then had to cover up with more ceruse, until your face was ruined, your hair fell out and you died of lead poisoning. (Like Maria the Countess of Coventry, aged 27.) 

     If you wanted to lose your freckles, you had the delicious choice of sulphur, turpentine and mercury. On top of this, was painted a nice glaze of egg white. At least that wouldn't do any harm, although it might smell after a bit, but as hardly anyone bathed much, perhaps it was unnoticeable...

     Lipstick was very popular of course, and vermilion was the shade du jour. That, of course, is also known as mercuric sulphide. Nice! 

     To get that 'high brow' look, the hairline and the eyebrows were plucked to oblivion, proving that "il faut souffrir pour être belle" is not a modern invention,

     Let's not forget the eyes, those windows of the soul: to keep them bright, a tincture of belladonna was used. Hence the name presumably. Once the pupils were dilated, a nice line of antimony was painted along them. Antimony poisoning is very similar to lead poisoning, apparently. though I doubt that makes much of a difference, except to anyone doing an autopsy. 

     Actors often used prop paint for their faces, after painting the stage. There was also a pleasing mixture of powdered hogs bones mixed with poppy oil, which was used, especially by the young men who were playing the petticoat parts. All the actors wore face paint of some sort, though, to accentuate the character they were playing. Like Duncan with his "silver skin (laced with his golden blood)". Although, by most accounts, the real King Duncan was not the pleasant chap he seems. ("Seems,” madam? Nay, it is. I know not “seems...) A popular recipe was ceruse mixed with sublimate of mercury and ground orris. Sprinkle in some ground hogs’ bones, a pinch of borax, and beat in egg whites and lemon juice. Nice! 

     One of the few harmless ingredients used, and this is still used today, to create red lipstick, was cochineal. It was expensive, though, hence the vermilion being in more common use.  

     Thinking about that lot, I'm pretty relieved that we can paint our faces with Dr Hauschka. I'm not sure that lead and mercury have a great deal to recommend them, although you could of course say that they are 'natural'. Like cyanide and arsenic. Which just goes to show that you can't rely on the claims on packets of cosmetics to be 'natural' and assume that they are therefore beneficial.